MLP S05E14 and 15 Review - Part 1 (ft. Sky Breeze)

Sep 25, 201517 min read

Deviation Actions

Published: Sep 25, 2015

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Introduction

*BACKGROUND MUSIC*

Let me tell you this, I haven't watched yet the new "Friendship Games" movie. That is because I don't wanna get too attached to it yet by watching short clips, trailers and shorts until an un-pirated copy of the movie comes. The only thing I know about Friendship Games before I would watch it is that it features the Twilight Sparkle native to the Equestria Girls world. But unfortunately, she's on the other school, the Crystal Prep Academy, the rival of Canterlot High School which had been slamming the latter for consecutive years in intermurals. With the help of Sunset Shimmer and the human Mane Five, they and the Wondercolts of the school would do their best to win in the Friendship Games against the Shadowbolts of that other academic institution. But somehow, the human Twilight Sparkle gets herself too attached to Equestrian magic and wanted to know more about it. I could guess she could be the villain of the new movie but redeemable, but who knows?

???: (in a spooky voice) Crisostomoooooooo…

Crisostomo-Ibarra: Woah, what's happening?

???: Crisostomoooooooooo… (coughs and drops from the ceiling to the floor, she turns out to be SkyBreeze-MasterMC) Sorry. I just came by to announce something. Perhaps, you may want to know about this.

Crisostomo-Ibarra: Okay, so what's the big hit today?

SkyBreeze-MasterMC: I'm running a contest. This is about a "Draw my Character" contest. You get to draw or interpret something about my pony OC, as well as your journal regarding to the entry to this contest. I have prepared fantastic prizes for the three best winners. In fact, I have journal all about it and if you want to know more, I recommend seeing that journal. And remember, only a few days left and the contest will expire in a few days, so I suggest you make it right now.

Crisostomo-Ibarra: Oh, that's great! That sounds fantastic. I would love to join.

SkyBreeze-MasterMC: That would be nice. Now, how do I get out of this cross-promo?

Crisostomo-Ibarra: I think you should just... go.

SkyBreeze-MasterMC: Oh, okay. Oooooooh… Ooooooh… (flies off, leaving Crisostomo confused)

Like Sky Breeze said, if you want to know more about the contest and how to enter, check out her journal below.

MLP Contest/Raffle (Points+Art Prize)Edit 9/15/2015:
Thank you to all that entered! I would like to remind everyone that your FINAL SUBMISSION DATE is on the 30th, which is 15 days from now. I have also added another option for you to draw, as well as a new prize, so check below!
Edit 9/2/2015: You can now use/make SFM/GMOD Models!
Rules:
-This is a "Draw My Character" Contest, however anything is accepted! (Art, Short Fanfic, Crafts, Videos, Short Animation, Vectors, Anything!)
-You may enter as many entries as you like!
-You're not required to be my watcher, however you won't get updates on the contest otherwise.
-Have fun!
My OC:

How to enter:
-Comment below with a link to your submission (when you're done)
-Write a journal linking to the contest and link back in the comments (bonus points if you include this in your journal:

To see my entry for this contest, go to this picture. Nah, nevermind, you already saw it.

Pride of the Sky - Contest Entry by Crisostomo-Ibarra

And for a bonus, check out her video about pony OC's and her opinions and critiques about them in YouTube by going to link in the description in this picture:

DA's Got OC's (We'll Judge Your OC)- Episode 04. by SkyBreeze-MasterMC

My journal, on the other hoof, will focus on reviewing the two latest episodes of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic: "Canterlot Boutique" and "Rarity Investigates!". Now, before we get to the review, I have one thing to say: the series has been on hiatus for a few months earlier and never aired a new episode since "Do Princesses Dream of Magic Sheep?" to make way for the theatrical release of the new Equestria Girls movie. During this break, I focused hard on my issues for my first months in my college life. And now that the Finals of the First Term ended, I only get two weeks of breaktime. Also, my fanfiction, "Clash of Light and Darkness" didn't have a new chapter other than Chapter 13, which was uploaded on this site a few months ago. I haven't been online on deviantART. So keep in mind, I am going to limit my activity in dA, as well as focus on my more important priorities.

Since these episodes are two consecutive Rarity episodes and they are both conjoined with the same plotline, I will review both of them at the same time. I haven't done a review on two or more My Little Pony episodes in the same journal, so what the hay?

Let's focus first of Canterlot Boutique.

Canterlot Boutique

The episode starts in the Carousel Boutique in Ponyville, where Rarity is just doing her everyday routine. That is until Pinkie Pie pops out nowhere outside the window and then, suddenly, she's already inside the boutique, because... (shrugs) Anyway, Pinkie has these horrendously-made cupcakes with a shitty-ass-long name she brings with her, tries one of them and spends FIVE minutes making these wretched death sounds. I'm just kidding, it's just three seconds.

Other than that, she also has an envelope and Rarity reads it. The letter is about the official opening of the new boutique in Canterlot, called the Canterlot Carousel, and Rarity is appointed there. She is excited because she always wanted to run a boutique in Canterlot. It feels like one of her MANY dreams come to reality.

So, the Mane Six goes to new Boutique where they meet the new manager of the building who contributed into supporting Rarity for the opening of the new boutique.

Rarity: Well, despite my 'nubby scrubby buffy pony pedi, I actually have been working very hard! However, I never could have gotten the boutique ready for the grand opening without the help of my new manager Sassy Saddles!

(stifles laugh) I'm sorry, what was that totally run-of-the-mill average name again?

Rarity: …my new manager Sassy Saddles!

(trying to hold in laughter) Was Miss "Sexy Flank" already taken?

Rarity proudly shows off the dresses she made themed on various topics, such as the Princesses of Equestria, geography, nature, science and whatever fuck she could up with her inspiring brain. She tells her stories of how she was inspired to bring the ideas of making these uniquely-designed dresses to life. Those were her sets of motivations for her "Rules of Rarity" or “Rarity's Rules of TLC/Time, Love, and Couture”.

Sassy… (tries to hold on to laughter) has a multi-point plan to bring Canterlot Carousel much business and success, starting with a line of dresses themed after the royal princesses. Twilight even agrees to model the centerpiece dress during the grand opening.

Later, when the doors of the Carousel are finally opened to the general public, however, Sassy Saddles... (heads down, laughing) steals the show and Rarity is shoved into the corner, while still presenting the dresses to amaze the crowd of ponies. Why do I get the uncanny feeling that she might be the villain in the episode? Nah, why am I already jumping onto conclusions? Nah, I wanna talk about that later.

Anyway, the point is Rarity impresses and woos the audience with the fashionable dresses she created. However, one dress stands out from the rest, because it's unique, complex and fits in to the criterion of the likeness of fashion. The new dress is modeled after the stained glass dedicated to Princess Twilight.

Huh, I never recalled a Princess-Twilight-themed stained glass before. At least, not now. You mean this stained glass? Wait, wasn't it already destroyed by Tirek about a season ago? Jesus, I've said this a million times, Rogers: show, don't tell! Or at least have what you're showing match up with what you're telling. Based on what Rarity tells us, how are we supposed to know if it's the same glass from Season Four or something else? I think an inadequate course could clear that right up!

We then see the new dress, colored in mostly sky-blue, decorated with beads and a pair of small feathered wings used only for decoration. Of course, if dresses aren't used to decorate yourselves or anything else, I don't know what they are!

Afterwards, we are introduced to Fashion Plate, the photographer for the Cosmarepolitan Magazine, who is in no doubt superbly amazed by the dazzle of those dresses.

Fashion Plate: Well, when Sassy Saddles calls, saying she's found the latest and greatest in fashion, we hightail without fail! Now tell me all about your latest collection!

(as Fashion Plate) Also, tell me how you did of all these without going drama queen everytime you screw up. I'm still buying it. (normal) So, the name of the new dress modeled after Princess Twilight is the “Reign in Stain”. Wait, what? “Reign in Stain”? Are you fucking kidding me? Sure, the model dress is named after some unknown stained glass based of Princess Twily and those words rhyme, but that name doesn't sound too right. “Reign in Stain” at first sounds me like, “Rain n' Stain”, which is very offensive in the world of fashion. It sounds like it's inspired by some princess who just took a bath in a pile of shit.

(Crisostomo growls but quickly calms down, but looks around to see if anyone is watching. He gingerly reaches down and picks up a small tape player and puts a crude look-alike copy of himself in his chair; he makes a "shh" motion to the camera, then turns on the tape player.)

Tape player: I hate this. Look at that. That's so lame. This is idiotic. I really hate this. This is so stupid. I wish I could kill myself.

(The sound of a brawl somewhere off-screen is heard and Ibarra is thrown back.)

Even Sassy Saddles… (spits with laughter) thinks that name is literally shit. So she decides to rename the masterpiece as the “Princess Dress”. Okay, it's still a bit lame, but it's better than the last one.

Anyway, why does everypony think that the "Princess Dress" is the best among the rest? I think all the dresses Rarity presented earlier are aesthetically presentable and fantastic; I mean, no so different in uniqueness and beauty compared to each other, but it's that all chooses the last dress, the one modeled after the stained glass of the Princess of Friendship. Is it because Twilight is Equestria's greatest hero, she deserves all the recognition and praise through a single fucking dress?! Princess Celestia and Luna are still in commission, although they don't have time to save their own kingdom from near-total brinks of destruction. And what about Princess Cadance? Where the hell is the dress themed after her? And what about the dresses used in the previous episodes? They could be recycled for exhibition in the Canterlot Carousel, but of course, the "Rules of Rarity" says “out with the old and in the new” or whatever the fucking frick that's supposed to mean!!

And how does the advertising of the Princess Dress go? I think it's something like…

Announcer: (voiced by Crisostomo-Ibarra) Do you wanna be an alicorn? Do you wanna be a princess you always dreamed of? Well, then, come on down and get the all-new Princess Dress! You can become a princess in this fabulous dress without needing to get wings! Why? Because you have your own state-of-the-art non-flight wings that comes with the dress! (Don't ask why the wings look too small. We take some f[bleep]ing liberties here.) Order it in the first thirty minutes and you'll receive a 30% discount on the price and a second Princess Dress for free! So, what are you waiting for? Come here to Canterlot and achieve your dream, with your Princess Dress! (fast) This dress is recommended for unicorns only, and not for earth ponies and pegasi.

After the exhibition, Sassy Saddles… (chuckles) gives Rarity one-hundred orders from customers who want the Princess Dress. The white unicorn thinks it's a bad idea, seeing that it might overwork her. But seeing she has satisfy the fashionable sense of her costumes, she reluctantly agrees to fill up those orders. Yeah, I hear they have really good "Buy this shit!" (Brings out two firework stickers that say "Buy this shit!")

Rarity: (suddenly singing) The rules of Rarity, guaranteed quality…

Oh, it's a musical now? Fuck you!

(He uses his remote to skip the whole musical number)

During the whole thing, Rarity starts to get sick and resenting to making the same dress over and over and over again. You know, I think I speak with my wholesale opinion, I am also starting to feel uneasy for this dress. Just the sight of many wearing the same dress that wooed a lot of ponies is insulting to fashion. Even I am think this sameness tradition needs to stop. Didn't we learn that lesson back in that once-bland-and-equal simple village with no fucking name? I think that's what it mean by "Rules of Rarity". When something is overdone, enough is enough. Either take a rest or do something different. And that's what Rarity does: do something different. And what exactly does she do? Make the same fucking dress! But this time, she replaces the beads with gemstones. She tries to offer it to a customer, but unfortunately, it's not what she really wanted.

Fashionable Pony: There's something different.
Rarity: Well as an artiste, I did take the liberty to change a few minor details.[beat]
Rarity: I, eheh, I saw these gems glistening in the light, and they just spoke to me. Aren't they lovely? And so unique!
Fashionable Pony: [sigh] They're... fine. But they're not what I ordered, are they?
Rarity: Uh, no. No, they're not.
Fashionable Pony: I want the dress to be exactly like the one Princess Twilight wore. Understand?

(Crisostomo Ibarra, fed up, facehoofs and proceeds to leave)

No.

No, No!

NO NO NO NO NO NO!

(on the floor whimpering like a child) NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! You can't be this stupid! (uncovers face which is also entirely red with rage) You CANNOT be this stupid! I mean LOOK at that damn thing!

OF COURSE IT'S NOT WHAT SHE ORDERED!!! IT'S LIKE 90% THE SAME FUCKING THING, YOU GODDAMN MORONS!!!!!

You know those sponge ponies? The ones where you just add water to make them grow bigger?

Well, DON'T SHOW THAT TO ANYBODY HERE, IT'LL COMPLETELY BLOW THEIR MINDS! They'll be like: (now facing a sponge pony) “What's that? Oh, that's a pony. C'mon everybody knows that. Oh, you're gonna add water? Well I don't know what that's gonna- (water is added and the toy pony grows only a little bit bigger) OH, MY GOD, WHAT IS THAT?! WHAT IS THAT?!! OH, MY GOD, IT CHANGED INTO SOMETHING COMPLETELY UNRECOGNIZABLE!!! I mean I'm AMAZING at what I do, but this- THIS IS BEYOND MY COMPREHENSION!!!!! OH, MY GOD, WHAT IS THAT??!!!”

(pony grows a little bit bigger and Crisostomo dives to the ground, while screaming)

So, after getting severely overworked for all the rough labor she is in after making hundreds of orders of the same old stupid dress, what is she rewarded for? One-hundred more orders! Finally, Rarity has had enough and scolds the hell out of Sassy Saddles. (tries to hold his laughter, but to no avail)

Rarity: Stop! This is not your boutique! And if this is what success in Canterlot looks like, I want no part of it! Now, make up flyers for a going-out-of-business sale! I'm closing Canterlot Carousel!
Sassy Saddles: What?! No! Oh, you can't, Rarity! I-I've worked too hard to make this a success! I can't be a part of another failed boutique!
Crisostomo-Ibarra: (as Sassy) I don't wanna look a villain like the rest who the others think are tolerable at first! Okay, whatever.

As a last resort, Rarity dumps all the Princess Dresses she made into the bin and placed all the other dresses in display for a going-out-of-business sale to deliberately close down the boutique. Wow, so much for "Miss Generosity" there! But when the customers arrive, some of them are appalled by a couple of those dresses, either it fits to their personality or mood or it's just what they really wanted.

Rarity then decides not to close the Canterlot Carousel and continue the sale of these other dresses. Sassy… (laughs out loud, but quickly clears his throat and calms down) finds it in her heart to apologize to Rarity and tell her she finally knows the true meaning of the Rules of Rarity. Rarity says to her that she still belongs to Ponyville and will always work in her Carousel Boutique but there will also be times where she'll come back to her to keep the Canterlot Carousel going strong.

Incidental Pony: Oh, my gosh, a sale! Do you have the Princess Dress?!
Rarity and Sassy Saddles: No! (laughing)

By God, it's that hideous! Not only is she sinfully ugly, but the fact that she is designed by an ordinary crew writer with no form of imagination whatsoever is just too painful. She looks like Jake the Dog if she was shit out by Dipsy. I could go on all day complementing not only how hilariously ridiculous but also how out-of-nowhere this humor is, especially at the very end of the episode. In fact… (brings out a couple of hard drives) these are the hard drives of jokes I made just based on his appearance! But, seeing how this episode would end anyway, let's just end this review by saying this pony looks like an obese tumorous sausage with sticks.

And that was… Canterlot Boutique. I'll speak more of the conclusions in part two of my review after I do Rarity Investigates, which will also be in part two. Obviously! Until then, I will have to deal with issues first for my Second Term. So, this would take a while, guys. See ya!